She is Gone

She is gone. It happened that fast. Just yesterday laughing and talking, and today I help the other women to prepare her for her pyre. I can still barely absorb it. It seems so unfair! It seems so wrong. She had so much to look forward to. There was so much she had not yet done. There were people who loved her so very much, and none of that mattered when the time came for her to ride on into the next world. She left us so suddenly. No warning. No crash of thunder. Nothing!

I am angry. I want to scream at the Skies to send her back. I don't have so many that I consider a friend that the loss of yet another goes unfelt. Its so soon after we lost the Year Keeper. My heart feels cold in my chest. It feels like a stone that is trapped in the grip of winter's ice, and I wonder if it will ever thaw out again. I keep expecting to hear her laugh. I keep expecting to see her come to the fires. I keep expecting - her.

I cannot get Polunu's face out of my mind. No, he and I are not what I would call close. He's been pleasant to me, and I am grateful for that. It is just that we have not forged a tight bond as I had with her. He had formed one with her. It was far deeper than anyone knew from the look on his face last night. Part of me wants to say something, but I know there is no such words that will ease that pain for him. I wanted to do something to help. I can't. Nothing will bring her back.

Tomorrow will dawn. Life will go on. It will just never be the same.